Posted on February 16, 2024

The Eternal Spirit that is called ‘I’
When I was alive lived in a male cow’s body
My understanding was filtered and limited by this
My vision, hearing, smell, taste, and emotions too.
They were different from yours
But my existence was just as important to me
As yours is to you
I was a sentient being.
The night before the crash I lay in the fields
Under a black sky twinkling with stars
If not quite contentment, there was at least a neutral state in me
A passive acceptance that does not question its fate
I just was.
I was an innocent being.
In the morning a large truck arrived near our paddock
I remember the sting of the electric prod as I stumbled up the ramp
The shouts of the people, their laughter, the loud banging of doors
My friends showed their unease, I did too, but we tried to be staunch
An hours -long trip followed, over winding roads
I was tired and increasingly fearful.
I peered through the openings in the side at green fields
When suddenly there was a lurch, and I was looking up at the blue sky.
For a second I felt nothing at all, then I saw everything in double
I was struggling to breathe, but there was blood in my lungs
I tried to call out but there was blood in my throat
And pouring out of my mouth
I lost control of my bowels
Then I was flooded with searing pain and panic.
I had two broken legs and internal injuries
That were not survivable
Amidst the bustle of men in hi-viz jackets and noisy machinery
I died in agony
The last thing I saw was two people standing silently by
They were crying for me
They blessed my last moments
And my eternal spirit will remember them.

Sandra Kyle, Editor, May Safely Graze

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